Oh wow…

…what a brilliant event! We come to expect it of the Bustinskins team now – they know how to throw a great party 🙂
It was the Osprey Sprint Triathlon – their first triathlon of the season. It always has such a FAB atmosphere & for anyone new to the sport, it is a really good introduction.

I didn’t do it last year (not sure why) but found myself signing up for this event ‘to give me something to aim for through the winter’ The target, however, wasn’t enough to make me swim over the winter. So 3 weeks before the event, this fact dawned on me & I started to question whether triathlon is really for me.

I dislike swimming so much…no fear…it’s just so…ummm……wet :-/

I joined the Friday Fresheners for a dip in the big blue ocean. Once I’d committed to it the night before (by packing my work clothes bag) it was a done deal. It was chucking it down the next morning & it made me smile to see Kim in her wetsuit & coat ….. WITH HER HOOD UP….. I mean, really? Wouldn’t do to get your hair wet…. 😉

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Anyway. Long and short of it…it was fun 😀 & not nearly as cold as I thought it would be. Swim training was done then – one swim out to the buoy and back would be enough, wouldn’t it?

Now… and here’s a bit of a problem….I am starting to care a little bit about how well/badly I’m going to do…

A few friends were doing their first event & I’d spent weeks assuring them it would be fine & they’d have a ball (which, of course, they did) But, I was starting to feel a bit wobbly about the whole thing. The previous events in 2013/14 I was pretty anonymous, nobody really knew me that well & I could hide behind ‘I’ve only just started this’ & ‘I’ve never exercised before in my life’. This time, however I couldn’t do that. I’ve completed a half ironman distance event for goodness sake. It started to really bother me, that people would see just how rubbish I really am. People have been telling me how inspirational I am & it doesn’t sit comfortably with me. I have a go at stuff & I get by & get it finished. But to say I’m inspirational is unsettling, because I really am crap at it.

Thankfully I had put in a really slow time for the swim, so there was no pressure. As it turns out I did the swim 15 seconds quicker than 2 years ago. (still breast stroke – front crawl did not even appear on my radar)

So I was out of the pool before the masses and looking forward to the ride. I’ve really improved & I’m feeling stronger and more confident every time I go out on the bike. I worked hard (for me) and it was a lovely feeling to have very few people overtake me – a real novelty as it’s usually like the whole world & his mate passes me on the bike. I even managed to overtake a few myself…

I know, how great is that 😀

I did the ride 11 minutes quicker that 2014 & got 4 PB’s so I was happy.
Out on the run I felt ok, not great, but it was doable I was 3 minutes quicker than 2014, but actually I was much slower than I know I can run now. I’m still carrying fatigue from the JCC I think, because I’m really, really struggling with running generally at the moment.

Again, I’m still at the front of the ‘crowd’ as such, so I was feeling like I’d done well. (I had no illusions that I was leading or anything like that – it was just nice to not have a steady stream of peeps overtaking me)
I had fun & loved cheering on the newbies as we passed at various points. It was great finishing & I felt FAB. The bacon butty didn’t touch the sides 🙂

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The wait for the official results was agony …. I knew I’d been quicker (I was 12mins 11 seconds quicker than 2014), but I was secretly hoping I’d actually beat some people I know.

I’ve never felt like that before…I’ve never been particularly competitive (I am with myself, but never against other people) I’ve assumed my position at the bottom of the results list grateful to have got round and finished.
I was disappointed with my result this time… I know… I should be elated – I was quicker….by over 12 minutes… but I feel….well I’m not sure how to put it into words… how can people say I’m inspirational if I’m so rubbish and so slow… like I said I find the inspirational mantle a bit hard to ‘wear’ at the best of times, but now everyone will see just how slow I really am.

I try so hard & find it all so difficult & I’m not sure how to get out of this feeling of bleugh…?

Oh well – not sure about triathlon – it’s the swim…. Love Bustinskin events though…and they’re on the doorstep….so next time I need a bling ‘fix’ then you might well see me out there again…

Anyhoo….I’ve got a few other things to look forward to this year & I’m really looking forward to my next adventure which is to ride up Mount Ventoux & alpes d’uez 😀

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